OUR FIRST (AND HOPEFULLY LAST) IUI

September 30, and the witch finally shows up.  It's been the first time that I prayed for my period to come, so excited to start our treatment. 
50mg Clomid CD3 - CD7 and honestly it was not that bad.  I had a headache everyday that lasted about an hour or two, but other than that feeling like my usual self.
CD11 went to see FS for a ultrasound, follicle check.  According to Doc I have one beautiful follie measuring 17.5mm, my lining is only 4.5mm, but seen as we not doing IVF, he is happy to trigger. 
Why do I feel so deflated?   I don't think that one follicle is good and hearing that it only takes one does not make me feel any better AARRGGHHHH
So we told to do the trigger at 10pm that evening and IUI is scheduled for Friday morning at 10am (CD13).
I feel like it's too early in my cycle but I'm trying to tell myself that I should leave it to the FS.
Bright and early Friday morning, DH sorts out his sample and we off to have breakfast while that lab guys do their thing.
The moment has finally arrived,I'm in one of those chairs with my legs spread apart and in the air, holding DH's hand and the doc assures me it's similar to a papsmear.....only it's NOT.
My cervix is apparently closed and he used some tools to force it open.  It was really uncomfortable and painful.  I am so confused, why is my cervix closed when I'm supposed to be ovulating, shouldn't it be open?
I have to lie down for 30mins after the procedure and driving back to work later that morning, I can't help but to feel less than optimistic.  FS has asked us only to test on 7 November if AF does not show and I'm praying (begging) every day that it will work this first time.  I am 5DPIUI and besides a few twinges here and there, I don't feel anything (I know it would be too early anyway).
I came across this coping mechanism for the  2WW and I think it's helping, but it's still early days.

 During this experience I will:
o Focus on the benefits and not just the difficulties
o Try to think more about the positive things
in my life
o Try to do something meaningful
o Learn from the experience
o See things positively
o Make the best of the situation
o Look on the bright side of things
o Find something good in what is happening
o Try to do something that makes me feel positive
o Focus on the positive aspects of the situation

WHERE WE FIND OURSELVES NOW

September 2012 was our first consultation with a Fertility Specialist and it went a lot better than I could have hoped.  I was terrified that he would send us away with a "home plan" and even told my DH that should it happen, I'll just march straight out of his office. 
He made us feel at ease straight away and seemed to understand our desperation.  After my internal scan and a long discussion about our journey, he had a plan for us HOORAY!!!
Thankfully I will not be subjected to any testing as we managed to conceive in 2011.  He has suggested three IUI cycles with clomid and a HCG trigger and then moving on to IVF if we are still unsuccessful.  Finally we have a plan and all does not seem lost.  I can start dreaming again.... 

OUR JOURNEY SO FAR

A little background......
December 2009 - August 2011 actively trying to conceive.  I was taking prenatal vitamins, DH was taking a sperm enhancer (Spremprove), measuring BBT and using OPK's.
September 2011 we managed to conceive and we were over the moon.  Finally the endless obsessing about pregnancy symptoms would stop, I didn't need to budget for HPT's (I have an obsession) and we could carry on with the rest of our lives.......
Sadly I had a miscarriage at eight weeks and even though my world came crashing down, I tried to be optomistic.  After all, we managed to conceive and everyone was telling me that after a miscarriage, you fall pregnant so much easier.  My DH even reassured me that we would be pregnant again by the end of that year.
Fast forward to October 2012 and still no bun in the oven!